Precious Things
by E.V. Harlow
Summary: AU, in Spira timeline. Even the strongest of people have a breaking point. The question is; who will they take with them when they fall?
1. Maddening Shroud

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**Precious Things  
**_Chapter One: Maddening Shroud

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_

Auron walked through the forest, determined to get away from the damned clearing everyone else occupied as they rested. The longer he was around, the more he felt like he was loosing his mind. Then again… maybe he was. It was no secret that the unsent were in constant battle with both the pull of the Farplane and the pull of anger and hate, leading them down the path of becoming fiends.

It seemed, as of late, these forces struggled within him and threatened to push him over the edge. The constant chattering of his traveling companions did nothing to help this situation.

Sighing, Auron rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger, temporarily easing the throbbing pain behind his eyes.

"Auron, hey man where ya….". Tidus stopped talking and just stared blankly at the retreating form of the older guardian.

Auron had not been in the best of moods lately but even this was a little extreme for the normally anti-social man. Tidus was not sure why Auron was acting this way, but he would love to have the old Auron back.

Tidus continued to watch Auron's retreating form, his crimson coat blowing lightly in the wind as he walked.

"Bastard." Tidus mumbled under his breath, hoping that it was just loud enough for the 'legendary guardian' to hear.

Auron knew he was being an ass, but at the same time he really didn't care. They had no idea what he was going through. Let them complain and hate him. It would be easier in the end, anyway. He closed his eye as old memories washed over him.

"Auron!"

His eye snapped open, Auron cursed the interruption. '_Must everyone bother me today?_'

He scowled deeply, the lines of his face making him look much older than he was.

"Auron!"

'_Why will she not let me be?' _

"Aur..." Rikku did not finish his name as she watched him ignore her and continue walking. Rikku fumed; she had no idea what was with him, but it was about time it stopped. Sure, he was always grumpy, but lately it had risen to an all-new high. Even Yunie was being affected and Rikku was not having it. This man deserved a good yelling at. The big, bad, intimidating meanie was not going to scare her off. It would take more than one of his 'over the glasses' glares.

With courage, and maybe a little bit of stupidity, she marched up to the towering man and grabbed his wrist.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Auron was shocked, to say the least; she had just grabbed him and, to top it off, had yelled at him. Just who the hell did she think she was? '_Do not make me teach you a lesson, little girl.'_

Auron turned around upon her scolding, looking like a wild animal ready to attack, and all courage fled her as fear took over. His eye was full of rage, a rage he held back deep within. This child knew not what she was getting herself into.

"Go back to the camp. These woods are no place for a child." Auron's tone was harsh- and that was his intention.

Rikku may have been the last person he would ever want to hurt, but now was not the time. It would never be the _time _anymore, as far as he was concerned. He had already been too lenient with her as it was. He had been too easy on all of them. Each one of them had their own weakness; hell, even he had his downfall.

Rikku shrank back at his words and the blatant meaning behind them. They were full of poisonous venom, which numbed the trembling Al Bhed to her core. She didn't understand what was going on and it hurt her not to be able to help. But then, Auron had never been one to flat out accept help. It usually took a little persuading or at least a little annoying to get the big oaf to budge.

She didn't know if it was the look in his eye that held her back, or her own mind busy in its confusion, but the small blonde was paralyzed, sucking on her bottom lip as she remembered the last time Auron had spoken to her in such a way.

Lulu had watched the rather troublesome exchange between the girl and guardian, and placed a hand over her heart as she sighed, preparing to make her way over to Rikku. Perhaps the young girl could be loud and overwhelming at times, but the way he had just spoken and looked at her, she had not deserved. The black mage contemplated sending a little lightning spell in the crimson warriors direction, but decided against it in the end. He would get what was coming to him if he continued to act in this manner.

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it."

Rikku shook her head. "No. He always means what he says. Always."

As she finished, several tears fell from her emerald eyes and she took Lulu's quiet shock as her moment to leave.

All she wanted to do was find Yuna and leave as soon as possible. She would make sure to stay as far away from Auron as she could on the rest of the hike to the travel agency.

'_What's wrong with you? I don't understand. I never understand.'_

Auron continued to trek deeper into the woods, until it was almost impossible to see beyond the trees and growth in any direction. And that's when he finally let go; the pain shooting through his entire body with such force it felt as if he were dying all over again.

Stifling a yell, he leaned against a tree for support, praying this would soon pass. Who or what he prayed to, he did not know.

Instead of release, he was rewarded with the memories of a tragedy-filled life that would play over and over again. The newest being the look of fear Rikku had given him only a few moments ago. '_I'm sorry my Rikku.'_

Auron cringed at the emotional-pain-turned-physical as he doubled over, falling to his knees. Everyone who had ever meant anything to him had been taken away, and so he now pushed away everyone else. In the end his cold-hearted nature would be for the best. He had denied his heart what it wanted for so long, and as his breathing evened back out, he told himself: he would continue to deny.

* * *

RR

_Eva Harlow_


	2. Fade to Black

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**Precious Things  
**_Chapter Two: Fade to Black _

**

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**

Tidus rubbed the back of his neck, trying to work out a knot. Falling asleep on the couch had not been such a good idea and all he longed for at the moment was a bed.

Everyone had gone in separate directions upon reaching the travel agency, and as far as Tidus knew, that was how things still were. It had been a long couple of days and no one was in the mood for much company. It was definitely alone time. Even the ever-positive Yuna had started to question what she was doing, and it seemed as if no one could comfort her. Tidus wondered where she was, but understood she was having a difficult time on this last leg of the journey. How could you not be a little depressed; knowing you were walking to your death and that everyone around you could be walking to his or hers as well?

Tidus kicked the wood floor in frustration, huffing at the thought that he would be able to do nothing to stop the inevitable. What was the purpose of coming to Spira if there was nothing he could do?

Squinting his eyes, Tidus tried to focus on the form of a body, leaning against the wall in front of him. '_Maybe Yuna came to find me.'_

As the figure came clearly into view, the boy couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"Rikku, what are you doing?"

The blonde girl jerked her head up, placing a grin upon her face, to cover up the fact a moment ago she had been on the verge of tears once more.

"Waiting for Auron. There is something I need to talk to him about." Rikku did her best impersonation of herself on a happy day.

Tidus cringed outwardly. " Maybe you haven't noticed, but he isn't in the best of moods."

"Have you _met_ Auron?" She was trying to lighten the mood, change the subject, anything to get Tidus off wondering what she was doing outside the legendary guardian's room. The boy had an over-active imagination that had the possibility of getting her in trouble.

"Point taken." He gave a half smile and nodded in understanding before turning to enter his room.

Rikku's face fell while Tidus took another glance at her over his shoulder. Something was bothering her and Tidus' mind was racing with possibilities.

"Why don't you try the door, I doubt its locked. That way you aren't standing out here half the night."

Tidus shut the door and Rikku sighed, but before she could do anything else, Tidus stuck his head back outside.

"And Rikku… behave."

With that, he shut the door, while Rikku's jaw hit the floor. _'What's that suppose to mean? 'Behave'. As If I would even consider, anything with that… that...'_

Her fists clenched at her side as she kicked her foot against the door a couple of times.

Sure, there had been times when she had watched Auron from a distance and thought about what it would be like to kiss him, but never would she have acted on it. She could just imagine the reactions she would receive.

Besides, the only image that infiltrated her mind now was that of Auron glaring at her. It was like he had looked right into her and paralyzed her. She never wanted to experience that again. Once in a lifetime was plenty.

Besides, the idea of a relationship between those two was absolutely absurd. There were a million reasons why they would end up killing each other.

Entering the room, she glanced around and noticed that nothing was disturbed. While everyone else had gone to rest in the late afternoon, he had not.

'_Where are you?'_

Rikku skimmed the room, looking for anything of Auron's, to let her know she had the right room. The only thing she found was his massive sword, resting against a wall. That was proof enough for her.

Sighing, Rikku sat on the bed, wondering just what she was doing and what she would accomplish. Getting Auron to say more than a few words was going to be difficult… if she could get him to say anything at all.

Lying down, Rikku mentally struggled with herself about how to approach him. It was obvious yelling at him had not worked, but at least it had gotten his attention. This was not the Auron she remembered. Why had he become so cold and alone? She knew he had his reasons to be but Auron was always so strong and able to defeat anything. Why was it that his inner demons seemed worse then those they fought daily? Was she really that stupid and naïve a girl, to think he was indestructible?

"Of course I am." Rikku squeezed her eyes tight in frustration before relaxing again.

-

Auron slammed the tokkuri down onto the bar, the almost-empty contents sloshing around from the disturbance.

"Something troubles you this evening, Sir Auron?" Rin raised an eyebrow at the dark haired man.

"I am fine." Auron grunted out in usual fashion. He was still in no mood to talk and Rin had a way of asking too many questions.

Rin eyed the old warrior and wondered what had him in such a fowl mood. As far as he could tell, the pilgrimage was going according to plan, even if he did not agree with it. Those who believed and trusted the teachings of Yevon should not have any problems with the outcome that lay ahead. But maybe death, no matter what the cause, still troubled these people.

"Perhaps a book to calm your nerves?" Rin gestured toward a few comfortable looking chairs that surrounded a fireplace and bookshelf. "Here, come sit and relax."

Of course, Auron would not want to read anything, but Rin hoped if he could get the man to relax, he might be able to get some information out of him.

Auron tried to relax, he really did, but peace would not come to him, not just yet. Even the damn books he flipped through offered him no distractions. The images of long ago flickered in his mind, scenes changing from moment to moment, but all were the same; full of so much death.

Now guilt plagued him as well, his head in his hands, he took deep breaths trying to let it all go, but he could not. All he could do was push it away and try to hide it for the time being.

Some days were harder than others, but some days brought so much more… he thought he might actually be able to be happy.

In his mind her image appeared, crying like she had so many years ago… and for what?

For him. And yet he still pushed her away as if she knew nothing and never would. Sometimes though, he wondered if there were things she could teach him. Auron knew he had been awful to them all, but she stuck out in his mind more than any other.

"I have taken the liberty of filling this for you." Rin handed the now full tokkuri out to Auron.

"I have had too much to drink tonight as it is." Moreover, it was the truth. Whoever had said an unsent could not get drunk was dead wrong. Although at the moment, the alcohol was only making him feel worse.

Rin just stood there, contemplating the broken man before him.

"You seem bothered this evening. Much more so than the night I took a crying Al Bhed girl from your arms."

Auron raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he pushed passed the innkeeper.

"Perhaps it is the same girl who plagues you now. Perhaps it is you, who still makes her cry."

"Perhaps you should stay out of others affairs." Auron spat the words out, annoyance filling every word.

However, what Rin had said cut deep, and now all he saw was her crying, tears staining her normally cheerful face.

"Damn it!" Auron yelled as he slammed a fist into the mirrored wall beside him, glass shattering around the impact while his hand began to bleed.

Rin watched Auron leave, shoulders slumped in defeat. It reminded him of ten years ago… but now this guardian seemed to be only a shadow of what he once was. What had not changed was the fact he was always running away from things.

* * *

RR

_Eva Harlow _


	3. Dark Waltz

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**Precious Things  
**_Chapter Three: Dark Waltz

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_

Aurons entire form was shaking by the time he reached his room, several spots on his body glowing with the threat of pyreflies ready to escape. His back slid down the length of the door, once it was shut, his head falling into his hands, as he tired to regain control over at least some part of his being.

His entire body hurt and he was tired, but it was his mind full of racing thoughts, which bounced from one thing to another, that pained him the most. The flashes never giving him enough time to grasp what he was actually seeing. He was at a point where dragging another summoner to their death was eating away at the stern, self-centered man he had always been. The idea of losing, yet another person who meant the world to him, was enough to tear any man apart. He knew there had to be a way around everything but it wasn't up to him in the end, it would really be the boy who sealed their fates. Damn, he hated leaving things to someone else. None of this would have ever happened if he would have gone instead of Jecht, but would that have really made things any better?

_'Why does it all have to hurt so much and why does it have to add to my torment of death._'

Was it not enough, to be dead? To have nothing in life at all: no family, no friends, just those he was suppose to watch out of duty. Auron shook his head as if to answer his own question. He had friends, six of them.

And that's when he heard it, the soft murmurs of someone or something by the bed. As he stood, he was confirmed that not only was it someone, but it was a certain girl, who would not give up on him, although he would be damned if he had not tired to push her away. '_I am already damned.'_

So maybe she was his salvation, a precious item he should look after and protect. Yes, that is all she was, just another one of these damned children to watch over, to make sure they stayed alive to die in the end.

The throbbing in Aurons head only increased as he walked over to the sleeping girl and sat down on the bed quietly. He wasn't really sure why he was being so quiet; the girl could sleep through anything, well anything but thunder. '_Such a troublesome fear for her.'_

Reaching his bloody hand out he carefully threaded a few strands of her hair through his fingers, making sure he did not get any blood on her. She had already been stained once and that was enough for one lifetime.

Everything Auron seemed to get near or as he hated to admit love, seemed to wither and die right before him. That was how it had always been, parents, Braska, Jecht, and now Yuna. He hated to even think about it, but right now, it was the way things looked.

_"Things could be simple again, you could let it all be over._" There the voice taunted him. The voice of his own personal fiend. Ironically, it sounded a lot like himself.

"Shut up"

_"Just think about it_"

"Nothing you offer will help" No one could help Auron anymore. He was sure of this.

_"But I can offer you real death, a release. All you have to do."_

"I know what I have to do." He had thought about it before and how easy it would be.

"One cut deep enough and you would be no more. You would not have to see any of them die. You could be free."

Auron slipped the dagger out of his sleeve and stared it and the back at Rikku. There were defiantly worse things to look at while dying, but what if she woke.

"She is asleep, and nothing will wake her."

Auron closed his eye and turned away from the sleeping girl. He studied the simple dagger in his hands and contemplated the choices, what he should do as opposed to what he wanted to do.

"If you need her that much, take her with you. Save her from dying in so much pain."

Auron looked back at Rikku and he felt his stomach turn.

He could not believe he had actually thought about killing her along with himself. He would be no fiend, no monster, not to her.

"You have already hurt her."

The dagger slipped from his hands, several loud clanks filled the room, metal hitting the hard wood.

Coinciding with the noise, Rikku sat straight up, her heart threatening to come out of her chest.

She was scared, so scared she felt like crying. But why she felt this way she had no idea, something just seemed to pull at her soul. '_What was I dreaming?'_

Rikku rubbed her eyes; trying to make the dark shadow before her, form into some human shape.

"Auron?" There was no answer.

Leaning closer, she shifted to rest on her hands, until they meet with something wet on the bed. Eyes wide, she gasped at the warm substance on her palms. It was blood, the crimson color rivaling Aurons coat. Shocked did not describe the state of mind she was in, glancing over his shoulder, at the hand he was trying to hide and the blood stained dagger on the floor.

"What did you do?" Silence.

"Auron will you please say something." Her voice was higher than normal, panic setting in.

Still he said nothing, only looked at the floor. Auron didn't know what to tell her though.

'_The truth would be a good place to start.'_

_'O shut up.'_

Rikku climbed off the bed and knelt before the warrior, pulling a cloth out of her pouch. Carefully she took his hand in hers and began to clean and wrap the wound. Auron's flinching at the contact made her look up for a moment, but she wasn't sure if it was from pain or the mere fact she had touched him, and frankly she didn't give a damn. _Fine! Be a big baby and give me the silent treatment. See if I care.'_

Rikku added her own silent 'hmph' while she finished mending his hand. She intended to leave right after, maybe yelling at him first, but she would leave. Instead, she found herself holding his hand in her two smaller ones and staring up at him.

"You did this to yourself didn't you?"

Auron gave her a sideways glance and she noticed his glasses were missing. She looked him in the eye and pleaded.

"Why can't you just say something?"

Silence took over once again, as Rikku's posture began to slump and her hold on his hand lessoned almost to the point of dropping it. It was then as a last plea, Auron spoke.

"Thank you." It as quiet, and not very apologetic for anything he had done, but he could think of nothing else to say to her. He could think of nothing but her.

Rikku could not help but look back up to him and smile; a true smile, which he had not seen on her in days. How it hurt his heart to see her look at him that way. He was not worthy of such adoration. However, it had never worked trying to tell her that, but then again it was partly his fault.

"You should go now."

"No."

"Leave." _'Why must she be so stubborn?'_

"Not until you tell what is going on." Auron visibly took a deep breath, trying his best to be angry with her, but realizing he was failing.

"There is nothing of importance to tell."

"Please. Why is it so hard for you to trust me." She was pleading, begging him to just talk: to just show her that he was alive.

Auron had never figured out how to push her away. She just always seemed to come back unfazed, although he knew it bothered her, no one was that much of a masochist.

Rikku pushed herself up, so she was halfway standing. Her intention was to move the cowl down so she could read his face. That damn thing, kept so much hidden.

But as she reached up, a bandaged hand grabbed her wrist pulling it to the side. Another hand found its place, on the back of Rikkus head, tangled in hair as lips met hers.

Rikkus eyes flew wide in shock at the sensation. At this point, she was pretty sure they were on the verge of popping out. Auron was kissing her and well that was not something she would have ever expected to happen. But here he was, the most clam look she had ever seen on his face.

'_Is that a smile?'_

Aurons eye opened slowly as he smiled against, a very shaken, Rikkus lips. From the look on her face, she was defiantly not expecting that. But then again, he had not planed on kissing her. He had planed on kicking her out. '_How things change.' _For once in that entire day, he felt calm and there was no more pain. Being with her had always made him calm though, maybe even happy.

Rikku on the other hand was panicking. She didn't know what the hell was going on and wanted to run away and fast. It did not take long for that idea to reach her legs. Standing up and fumbling backwards, she stumbled over her words, never getting a single word out, before she had slammed the door behind her.

She fell to a life less heap at the bottom of the door, her face still burning a crimson red, from the shock.

He had kissed her and there was nothing chased about it either.

"I don't understand."

She sighed and traced her fingers over her lips.

"What happens now? Now that I ran away."

She leaned her head back against the door and smiled at the thought of Auron kissing her.

Auron, felt like a fool and sighed as a lone pyrefly finally made its way out of his chest.

Reaching out with his wrapped hand, he trapped it in his fist before crushing the light into darkness.

* * *

RR.

_Eva Harlow_


End file.
